Jesus, the Ramones, and Michele Bachmann Send me 29th Birthday Greetings!

Paul Harvey

In a few hours I'm turning 29 (give or take a little, like 21 years), and better blog now before, rather than after, decanting the birthday present.

It's so nice to get birthday greetings already first from Jesus, about whom Ed Blum and I have recently written a book, culminating, as it had to, with Jesus and the Devil duking it out in the ring in an episode of South Park. And The Ramones also checked in with a wonderful birthday greeting for me (we'll go out on that below).

Almost as exciting, Michele Bachmann called in to offer me free reparative therapy (for my blog addiction, that is); Grover Norquist checked in and said for my birthday he already had given me his long-wanted present of drowning effective governance in the bathtub; Speaker Boehner already called to say he'll send me some additional revenue in exchange for my vote; and Rick Perry called to give me a special invitation to his big Prayer Rally (sponsored by the American Family Association, in Houston on August 6th! I sent my regrets, told him I was "needing to spend more time with my family," and assured him I would be sending Historianess in my stead.

Anyway, turning off all media for a few days, so see you all next week on the other side of a mid-life crisis! Until then, let's go out with some Ramones -- after a week in the news like the last one, we all wanna be sedated.