Things I Wish Were True

by Matt Sutton

1) I found the following over the weekend on the internet (so it must be true): In the 1930s Huey Long impregnated Aimee Semple McPherson and the fetus was preserved cryogenically for thirty-some years until it was implanted in a surrogate. The result was Sarah Palin. Too bad I missed this scoop when I was working on my book.

2) That Focus on the Family was irrelevant. Instead they pulled off what has to be the most sophisticated anti-abortion ad ever—by not making it about abortion. I was amazed when I actually saw the Tebow Superbowl ad. That Focus successfully got the talking heads and bloggers discussing and debating a ministy’s right to run an anti-abortion ad for months before the ad aired got the abortion issue back into the nation consciousness. Then, to actually see the ad and realize that it wasn’t even about abortion… Focus deserves a lot of credit for playing me and a whole lot of other people for suckers. You can see the ad here.

3) That the Denver Broncos were still coached by Mike Shanahan and quarter-backed by Jay Cutler. Oh yeah, and that they won the Superbowl.


John G. Turner said…
Don't you mean John Elway?

Where I come from (western New York) the best we can hope for is to get back to the glory days of losing superbowls.
Kevin M Schultz said…
Coming from Chicago, I can say Jay Cutler ain't all that, at least not this year.

Perhaps if Jackie Joyner Kersey and Dan Marino had a baby that was cryogenically preserved...that might even be more useful than Sarah Palin.
bethany said…
I love your point one, but find it requires too much knowledge of American cultural history to be able to repeat to most of my friends. Nevermind, I thought it was awesome.
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