Porpoise Driven Life

By Randall Stephens

Hat tip to the two Darrens (Dochuk and Grem) for circulating this wonderful parody of Christian consumerism (Jesus junk in Colleen McDannel's words). Having spent some time in a couple of Christian megastores back in Kansas a few weeks ago, this almost seems believable!


John G. Turner said…
That is absurdly funny!
DEG said…
I love it because it hits on a penchant for persuasive analogy that evangelical Protestants can really take too much to heart sometimes. I once heard a pastor and friend preach that we should have faith in God because "he ain't no fourteen-year-old linebacker." I'm still trying to wrap my head around that one.
Randall said…
I experienced something similar, Deg, growing up as I did in the Nazarene Church. I wonder if it has to do with the way many conservative Christians think of the Bible as a kind of magical text. This doesn't just apply to those folks who play Bible roulette. Any passage of scripture can fit almost any sermon or almost any analogy.

I remember a sermon I heard at a Nazarene Church in Emporia, Kansas about not being a "Chicken Witness." I can't recall what in God's name this had to do with. But... there must have been some chicken mentioned in the OT.
DEG said…
I think the notion of a "magical Bible" is absolutely correct, which gets blended into the evangelical urge to be "all things to all people" and not let the Bible itself trip folks up. The Bible's not that democratic a book, but evangelicals try to make it that, which certainly lends itself toward both a trust in those who can "bring it down to earth" for lay evangelicals (e.g. Rick Warren) and a willingness to use a wide variety of analogies - within reason - to get the message across.

Just the number of analogies I've heard about the nature and purpose of the Trinity could fill a book. My favorite is that the Trinity is like the three forms of southern BBQ - same in substance, but not in manifestation.

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